FOR THE LAST TIME

First things first, don’t get too confused. I know that we can live our lives not alone because we still have GOD, family and friends. Each has t heir own way of showing different kind of love, but could anyone of them show what a partner in life could do? I mean, lets get realistic here, don’t be a hypocrite, everyone of us crave for the LOVE WITH MALICE. Don’t be too lunatic, because at some point in time you will need someone as you grow old.
Going back, last night I was in a chat room then all of a sudden, a simple question strikes me the most “Paano ba ang mag-isa”. It was like It suddenly gets into my nerve,. Maybe this person suffers much as I do. And so I started thinking, how could I possibly live my life ALONE. I have GOD, family and friends. Point taken. But what I need is a partner in life.
I, once, had a partner before but now I’m alone. I started moving on and luckily I am. The hardest part in a relationship that has ended was when you are seriously let yourself fall for someone and just can’t accept the fact that this person who used to call you mine, suddenly gave up on you and eventually left you.
Every relationship has its own ends. Some ends up the hard way but some did in a way that they can still have communication with each other, but these cases are seldom.
For once I lived my life happy and contented with this someone but now I have to face my life all alone. I have to face the most painful truth that this person is no longer mine. But somehow, I felt relieved that at some point it is just now only me who is making me suffer pain. At least I won’t have to blame anyone. It was kinda ironic coz I keep on saying that I moved on but the pain, perhaps, is still crunching my heart. It was, for me, the most painful part. Still holding on to something that you know can never happen again. Its like holding your favourite broken glass mirror, punching someone who broke it but still not manages to let go of the mirror, the pain was there already but you still put another pain although you’re bleeding subsequently.
Now that person left for good. That person will never ever come back so there’s no reason for me to cry over that person. There’s no reason for me to cling on hopes. No reasons for me to still fill up my mind with thoughts of that person, there’s no reason for me to reminisce things the way they used to be.
Let me say this for the last time, I MOVED ON. I did. From everything to that person, I am back now to nothing. I am nobody’s guy, who owns nothing.
I should start living my life alone without thoughts of that person. I should start forgetting that person, everything with that person. I know I can always move on because, somehow, at one point in my life, I did.
I said to myself, I was nothing until i found him, so what would be the difference if I don’t have him now?
Before, it is very hard for me to forget everything. But reminiscing the past wont make him to return in my arms where he used to sleep. Reminiscing the past will just make it harder and harder for me to move on and to forget everything.
But I really do love this person.